Its a long road....

Like most people certain days provide more of a challenge. Money, work, family, relationships. All of the above?? I just have some unique ostomy challenges.

When its a 'low' day I have to work even harder. Some days even getting out of bed is tough. Dealing with my stoma when im in a slump (which usually means its playing up too) is often too much.

Yes I am different, but different isnt always bad. The bag and ileostomy remind me of my "difference" every day. So I dont need reminding by anything else. I hate to be treated different. Perhaps just some understanding on the tougher days ; )

It probably stems from when I finally got home from hospital and I was in recovery mode. I promised myself I wouldn't let this beat me. I would never quit...EVER!

So when my stoma decides it doesnt want to play nice...my armour goes into overload. We all have armour, a mask of sorts, its like a shield we put up to prevent others from seeing what emotional state we are really in. Took a few counselling sessions to realise but apparently my shield is good. Perhaps too good ; )

For me the biggest challenge of having a stoma isnt the the physical. For me it's the psychological. Yes its vanity, but the bag always seem to be protrude. Most people tell me it doesnt show. Well I know its there so it always seems to. I find myslf constantly fiddling and checking the bag. Over the years I have had a few nasty leaks and a few near misses so I guess this is mostly just paranoia

Its no secret I have a stoma/bag so why all the trouble to hide it??
Not really sure, being 'normal' and normality just sounds a little dramatic. Over the last few months I have met people who are happy to be seen with their bag on show. On holiday, whilst wearing swimming costumes etc. Im not at that stage yet. I can talk about it, write about it but when it comes to people outside my close circle seeing it....just not comfortable.

Perhaps writing this bog is helping me criss this barrier..guess no matter how far ive come, always further to go.

Nemesis: An opponent that cannot be beaten or overcome

Todays session with Phil was full of surprises. It included my first deadlift session. I had been concerned since I saw this in my new regieme. My concern was that this excercise would strain my core too much. As always Phil was spot on. Getting the technique right was key. Dont get me wrong still defo engaged my core just not straining it. ; )

Technique still isnt perfect but managed to push out the sets. The final 2 sets at 75kg. Wasnt until I finished I realised this was only 10kg off my body weight!
Phil reassured me that if we were doing less reps and sets I would easily be lifting over my body weight. Made me feel good
: )

Surprisingly actually finished the deadlifts feeling kinda good.  Then superset... pull ups and military presses.

Pull ups are the one excercise I have always wanted to do. Yes they are flashy, but since I saw Phil perform level 2 (I think) M.E.T. pull ups and ladder pull ups (not sure on exact name but sounds good to me) They have always been a secret ambition of mine. They look so easy yet are so difficult to master. And now it was in one of my workout sets and I had to do 3 sets of 8??????

Well cant say I wasnt dissapointed,  but as expected couldn't really nail em. Used a box assist and they became a little easier. And trust me after that completing 3 sets of military presses were tough!

I had finnaly met my nemesis..............THE PULL UP!!!  

Got a feeling this will not be the last blog about my battle with pull ups.

The best thing about having a nemesis is the drive to defeat it......

Ice, Ice Baby!!

So I do not class myself as an athlete. However, with my new training regieme and the events i have completed over the last few months my body is definately feeling the strain.

For those that have read my Nuclear Blackout review you will know that this was my toughest yet made even harder by an intense cramp after 12k.

So what exactly is cramp
cramp = muscle paralysis: temporary loss of function in a muscle or muscle group caused by repetitive use or overexertion ( thanks wikepedia )

I think Nuclear Blackout & 15k in the dark qualified as over exertion. Its been 2 weeks since a run so on Sunday I geared up and set off at a steady speed. First few km were ok. As I neared the 5k mark the forest hills started to take their toll. 

Perhaps this was the mistake? Perhaps I should of just stuck to a road run. Problem is if it isnt off road it just doesnt feel the same. So ended up pulling short of 6k. My right leg and knee just started to niggle. As I had said before we have to listen to our bodies. :)

Thankfully I had already booked myself in for Sport massage. Timing was ideal. Although I cant say it was relaxing as it was actually quite painful! Emma (the sports therapist) warned that as she had worked the muscle quite hard, it could bruise.....It did :(

She also reccommended.........an ICE BATH!!!

So After dinner I ran the bath with nothing but the cold tap. God it was cold. The type of cold that just takes your breath away. with whatever dignity I could I lowered myself into the bath. Much to my wifes amuesement as she looked on.

I sat in the bath for about 10mins. I then immediately got into a hot shower. My legs were then overcome with...well the only way I can describe it is pins and needles. Not the painful type you get when your leg goes to sleep, but a very strange sensation.Actually thinking about Iit, it was more like having a shower after too much sun ; )

I woke up this morning and legs felt good. Well apart from the pain from the bruising. Managed to get a new conditioning workout done this morning. Fortunatley not too much leg work.

I have another ice bath planned tonigh, rest day Wednesda, then......

The new version of marmite Workout B!!!

Im back!!!!!

Its been 2 weeks since blackout with a week of no training and a few 'duff' PT sessions.  Well Saturday morning I met Phil at the gym. Must admit I was a little anxious.

Warm up went well. Then was time to get in the squat rack. A quuck set with just the 20kg bar felt good. We added 2 x 15kg and a pushed out another set  Started to feel good!

We both looked at each other and added some more weight. To be honest not a clue what we added think another 5kg each side? (60kg in total!) I Managed to push out the final sets without too much bother. Walked out of the squat rack feeling kinda good ; )

We then moved onto pulls. Now these felt good. By the second set we had moved the weight up to virtually the full stack!!!

Yes..I ache today my gluts and shoulders feel the workout...but I dont care. First time in 2 weeks I feel that not only have I got back to where I was...I think I pushed past it.

Im back!!!!

My partner in crime

First stage of training for any of my obstacle races..  cleaning my beloved trail shoes ; )

Is it all sunshine and rainbows??

So hopefully if you have read my previous blogs you will now know what a stoma actually is. Well someone suggested I share a little more about my experience.

When I was told I had Cancer believe it or not this was actually easier to deal with than being told to fix it I would have a stoma! Weird right? The disease that could've killed me didnt scare me as much as the soltion that ultimately cured me??

In the few weeks between being told what a stoma was and my operation I made the horrible mistake of 'googling' what a stoma looked like. I DO NOT recommend this! The internet is only full of pics of operations gone wrong, complications etc. I think this will be one of the main reason why for the few days before my operation I recall vivid knightmares and waking up in a sweat screaming... get it off,. get it off!

On the day of my operation things didnt go smoothly either. My operation ended being longer than anticipated due to some complications. I can only imagine the stress this put my wife, mum and step dad through. It all stared with an epidural that just wouldnt work.

For those lucky enough to of had this experience while fully awake they place a small needle into your spine. The guy doing mine mustve been a trainee as the first attempt sent a shooting pain in my kidney, the second my right arm before they finnaly gave up an sedated me. Unfortunatly due to the complications the incision was made higher than anticipated so the pain relief didnt exactly cover that area. I was highly drugged but even now I recall flashes of the recovery room and pain, lots of pain!

As I was nil by mouth for most of the time I was in hospital and for people following my blog I lived on Rice Crispies. It therefore wasn’t till I was at home before having to deal with the stoma and my new digestive system really took effect.

With a lack of large intestine the output was/can be very smelly and a very liquid consistency. The large intestine is responsible for extracting water from our diets. This is also the reason Ostomist must be aware of dehydration. Well embarrassingly this smell was more than I could handle and although I can laugh at it now the first few days I emptied and changed the bag with a clothes peg on my nose ; )

The design of the stoma bags allows you to empty them as they fill. Many people do not realise I have no control on output. It ultimately happens when the limited space I have is filled. This often means that food can be passed through my system rather quickly. The bag has a finite capacity and can also fill quickly.

Changing the appliance (bag) is required daily and this is in my experience the biggest challenge to overcome. Seeing part of your insides on the outside is a bit on a mind f**k.

Reading this honest account of my first few weeks with a stoma may scare people. Don’t let it!

It took me a number of months and some counselling till I realised that my stoma was/is actually not only responsible for saving my life but also in its own way making it better.

Yes I would be lying if I said it was all rainbows and sunshine as I still have my low days. However, 6.5 years after my Stoma Op I am fitter than I have ever been in my life. My aim is by end of 2013 to complete 7 challenging 6k+ cross country obstacle events. These each push my physical boundaries. Even possibly the physical expectations of an Ostomist.

Whilst pushing myself to overcome my physical challenges it has also made me mentally strong. I owe allot to this weird little appendage and bag!

I have a 5 year old son, a job I love, a good circle of friends, a wife that has been with me as my rock every step of the way..... life is good thanks in part to this weird little appendage.

The madness continues.....

After the challenge of Nuclear Blackout you might think I have learned my lesson? Afriad not I am more determined than ever to make 2013 the year I COMPETE!!!!!

So after some conversations with the organisor, I am now signed up to Back 2 The Trenches. I signed up for the 6k run. I have been told it will consist of usual mud madness with river runs hill climbs etc. However, this course will have the new and added challenge of an electrical obstacle known as 'The Spiders Web'!

Ill be honest Im absolutely bricking it at the throught of this one obstacle. Id actually rather run Blackout again!



I will try and post on my lead up to the race and then hopefully (if I survice) another review.

Did I mention one of the obstacles includes fire?? What doesnt kill us makes us stronger...right? ;)