Wow! That was close!

My training regieme regularily changes. Every 4-8 weeks Phil mixes things up still moving towards my overall goal but keeping my body guessing. No getting complacent ; )

Well this new stage starts with the old reliables Deadlifts and Squats. These are coming on nicely actually weights starting to move up. Deadlifts at 4x 8 reps @96kg and squats same having just moved to 77.5kg! :)

Anyway, these are followed by a 10min high intensity session. This consist of 2 different movements. For example a bench press with a 22.5kg dumbell in each hand followed by bodyweight pulls with an added 5kg on my chest. But there is the catch. They are back to back. No rest, one movement straight to another! You start with 5 reps of each. When you reach a point where you cant push out another rep, you drop to 4 etc etc. You continue this for 10mins. Always looking to beat your last 'score'

And yep, its as tough as it sounds. It defo gets the heart pumping and in the recent weather...SWEATY!!

Whilst its always good to share my training regieme to show having an Ostomy means you can still train, this isnt the reason for this blog.

During a recent session I was about half way through and was pressing the 22.5kg dumbells. Fatigue had kicked in, I was struggling. Thats when it happened. My right arm just wouldn't hold and the dumbell dropped. Id always joked about dropping a weight on my head or face, but this was worse. It dropped and landed on my stoma!!!

I felt immediatley sick. I wasnt sure if this was through pain or shock. Either way I felt the blood drain from my face and I was extremely worried.

If you haven't read my previous blog on what is a stoma, essentially it is a delicate part of my small intestine that pertrudes from my stomach. So, very delicate. In the split seconds immediately after the worrying thought flew through my head. What if I had damaged my stoma. What the hell would happen!!!

Luckily or perhaps a reflex had caused tge weight to hit my hip just below my stoma and not the stoma itself.  When I realised this I cant explain how relieved I was.  I composed myself and finished the workout.

The following few days had knocked my confidence a bit. I strarted to worry had I bitten off more than I could chew with all the OCRs in 2014. Each one was upping the game pushing me to my limits. Injury is always a worry to any competitor. But what if I damaged my stoma!

These thoughts were hard to shake and I honestly thought that I may not finish everything I had planned for 2014. I have too much to lose!

I continued to train but my heart wasnt really in it. My next session with Phil was exactly the same workout.  I think Phil knew I was worried. When we reached the presses I felt that Phil had moved a little closer. He was there incase it happened again. Im pleased to say that I pushed through with no incidents.

I must thank Phil. In my opinion this is the sign of a good trainer. He knew I was worried. But instead of change anything he just gently pushed me and was there should anything happen. 

My confidence returned. I realised that I could injure myself in normal life. Because of my training over the last few years it has actually made my core stronger.

We all lose confidence, but we have to look deep inside. If something is worth doing it will always have risk.

WHAT DOESNT KILL US MAKES US STRONGER ; )

Nuclear Rush. Forever my 'special race' Did the follow up deliver?

May 12th 2013 was and always will be (as per my previous blog) a very special date.  My first OCR Nuclear Rush. 

Sunday 11th May 2014 was my return visit.  My anxiousness was high.  I had become close to the Nuclear team and was more aware this time what to expect with small insights into certain obstacles on the course.  Would my expectations be met, I recalled an old saying 'Never meet your heros' had I returned to Rush expecting the same eleation at crossing the line, the same emotions as 12 months and many OCRs later?? 

I had been planning and even started to write a review.  However, many of my muddy colleagues have done a far better job that I ever would so if you are interested I thought I would share Mudstacles review of Rush the 'Game Changer '

 http://www.mudstacle.com/2014/05/nuclear-rush-video-report-game-changer.html 

I di use my Go pro and have decided  to post my first person highlights of the day (sorry having real trouble adding music).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9WofOT2oGE

 

Instead of a more formal review I wanted to share my very personal experiences at Rush.  

What I will say is as always this was an incredible well organised and most importantly for me a safe race.  Don’t get me wrong as you will see from the video and many many pictures available online. This was not a race for the unprepared.  A few injuries did occur.

 

This was probably one of the most physically and mentally challenging races to date.  Each time I run a Nuclear Race I say the same thing.  That’s simply because each time I race they have upped their game!  As if the ¼ pipe wasn’t enough (my nemesis from Blackout) this time we also had the zip line, ‘death’ slide 120m Guerilla bars (monkey bars on steroids) and more mud than you can imagine.  Seriously you should of seen the bottom of the shower after the race.  

The course also held a very special obstacle.  One of my fellow Nukers Dave Ayling had been given a section of river to ‘create’ an obstacle.  He kindly invited myself and Simon Fowler to assist.  The ‘Mud Bro’s’ Log carry river run was born. 

I cant thank him enough for this opportunity.  What an honour to be involved in designing an obstacle and then running it with thousands of others.  So to anyone reading this who ran Rush, Sorry I was part responsible for the log river run ;)

If you read my last post you will realise how special this next parts were.  

I ran out of the forest and met one of the many pond crossings.  As I was midway I looked up and saw the tree stump and bank where 12 months previously my family had stood and cheered me on.  I chocked back a lump in my throat and wadded on.

After more forests and obstacles we began to loop back to the event village.  Again another well organised plan from Nuclear races.  They had manipulated the course so almost 12 obstacles were within easy walking distance.  As I slide down the Fire-mans pole and managed a quick dunk in and out of the ICE BATH the crowds cheering were getting bigger and we were confronted by the ¼ pipe.  My head dropped as I really wasn’t looking forward to this obstacle.  However, once again my spirits were lifted as I heard ‘DADDY!!’ and looked up to see Carley, Jack and Luna all with beaming smiles (yes even Luna, one perk of owning a Dalmatian is when they are happy, they smile!)

My energy levels returned (kinda) and new determination (as I didn’t want to face plant and slide back down in-front of my family! Also at this stage Carley had her phone out and was snapping and recording away!  I had started running with a few friends and about halfway had been caught up by another.  He tackled the ¼ pipe first and managed it 1^st time.  I took my first few steps and then went for it.  I managed to get to the top and without his help would still be hanging there (Thanks Chris!)

As we emerged from the forest one last time Carley and Jack had were once again cheering me on.  I called Jack over and we ran the last few meters to the finish line together.

Once again Rush will hold some awesome memoreies and a special place in my heart.

#LOVEMUD

Full circle

Tomorrow is Nuclear Rush. 

Its a special day in my 2014 race calendar.  Yep its a home town race and get to meet up with my Nuclear family, but, its also the anniversary race when my love for OCR began.

May 2013 I had been training for about 6 months. When I started I could barely run around the block let alone a 10km OCR.

I ran, I got muddy...and I loved it! 

It was the first time since my operation and battle that I'd done something I NEVER would of done. Post Cancer me had pushed the boundaries of what I thought was possible.  what I thought I coukd do. From that day I decided to never look back, to keep pushing.

2013 Rush was fun, emotional and tough with many many memories. But for me while I write this I have one memory that will stick with me forever.

Nearing the end of the course was a lake crossing, as I entered the murky water I looked up and saw Carley (my wife) and my son Jack (thats the back of his head in the grey hoody) both beaming with pride as I waded through. I wont lie in the picture below I have a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat. I will never forget the look on Jacks face as he shouted "DADDY!!" to get my attention. If you have kids you'll know what I mean. His face was covered with happiness and pride. Something I will never forget!!

Its been 12 months since that race. That was really the catalist for everything that has happened. I want to thank Nuclear races. If it wasnt for such a great event I mayve just given up there. 

Plus I have had the priviledge of meeting and making some great new OCR mad friends (you know who you are) ; )

I Won't lie still nervous about the race tomorrow as I was 12 months ago. Nuclear races have upped their game and the obstacles are MONUMENTAL! My go pro is charging as we speak so Im hoping to capture every muddy mile from 1/4 pipe to zip line.

It will be an emotional race @Rush tomorrow And once again Carley and Jack are hoping to be there.

See you in the mud NUKERS #LOVEMUD

To swim or not to swim...that is the question

This will only be a short blog as I'm working on something about the lead up to Rush. This event is special to me as it marks the anniversary of my first OCR. Anyway dont want to spoil my blog ; )

This weekend Jack wanted to go swimming to show me how he now goes on the water slide. Of course how can you say no?

Despite what you may think about me and what you may think if you have read my blog, I am still very body concious. Especially when swimming. When running, competing or in every day unless you know, you would never know I have a stoma.When swimming I feel that I my bag and scars are really visible. Plus for some reason swimming makes my bag feel 'strange' I cant explain why, it just does.

So for me swimming is a real challenge. But thats what I do right ; ) I was outside of my comfort zone. The biggest part is getting changed. Every time I have previous swam I had changed in a cubical.

Well Sunday I decided enough is enough. I talk about raising awareness and how we shouldn't be ashamed of our bags. Time to do what I preach. So I sucked it up and got changed in the communal area.

Now here is the part of the story I hope you smile. My stoma bag is just that a plastic bag. It doesn't dry very well. In fact it can take some time to air dry. So I noticed something unusually for a male changing room..... a hairdryer.

I made a bold decision and in the middle of the changing rooms wearing nothing but my boxers I began to 'hairdry' my bag. Must admit got a few strange looks, but needs must right ; )

Another insight into the strange world of the Mud Bag Runner

So, when I started this blog my goal has always been to be honest. To share with Ostomist and non Ostomost alike my slant on Ostomy challenges.

This can vary from practical matters (what an Ostomy actually is) to some more personal aspects.

When I decided to do this it often means sharing a few stories or incidents that are a little embarrising. Well you guessed it, this is one of those times.

My job often requires me to travel. On this occasion I had to travel the fairly short distance to our HQ at Reigate for a 9 a.m. meeting. This meant facing possibly the worse stretch of the M25 at the moment. The road works at junction 5!

True to form I reached J5 and traffic ground to a halt. We proceeded to clutch dip for the next 20 minutes or so : (

Now to fully understand the next part I should probably need to give you some additional information about my ileostomy. (To cover the basics check out my previous blog 'what the hell is a stoma')

Many people still think that you have some control over your stomas output. Well I am sorry to burst your bubble..but you dont.

As I often do I'll do my best to explain. I have a far reduced bowel capacity as about 12ft are in a jar somewhere in Liverpool ; )  The law of physics only allows a finite amount to exist withinn this space. Once this is full if you try to add anymore there is only one place it to go...OUT!
This is the basic concept of my digestive system and another Ostomist challenge.

Can see where I am going with this? ; )

I had eaten breakfast before I left and had reached 'capacity'.

Another thing you should be aware of is my bag also has a capacity and as we have no control over this can fill rather quickly. Potentially my stoma bag can fill to capacity within 5 mins!!! And I wear a medium sized bag!

Today was one of those days. I was now slap bang in the middle of the roadworks. Middle lane and no hard shoulder. ..DAMN!

Now perhaps 6 or so years ago I would've started to panic at this stage. When the bag is at capacity 'blow outs' become a risk as the pressure builds.(FYI these are as bad as they sound)

Ostomists also spell check as Optomists (thanks Microsoft) For every problem there is always a solution. Even if the solution is do nothing and deal with the consequencies.

A quick scan around the car and I was able to calmly defuse the situation, cleanly, quickly, discretely and with as much dignity as I could.

So in some ways having a stoma bag actually helped in this situation. Imagine if I didnt have a bag.I really wouldve been in trouble then! ; )

And thats why I share this story, everyone faces daily challenges. Sometimes they can be worse than others often feel like the end of the world. Whatever happens happens, it is often completely out of our control.

So next time you have one of these 'challenges' be an Ostomist....I mean Optomist ; )

(thanks again Microsoft)

Beating Bowel Cancer Patient day 2014

Saturday 26th April, Beating Bowel Cancers 2014 Patient day.

I've been looking forward to this yet anxious about it at the same time.

Its an opportunity to meet some fellow bowel cancer fighters and survivors. Everyone (as always) was so welcoming.

As you may of already seen from a previous post I also had the honor of one of my 2013 OCR pictures being chosen for the cover of the patient day magazine and programme. Was a bit weird wandering around or sitting in the seminars looking over and seeing my ugly mug on the cover ; )

During my professional career I have attend a number of exhibitions and seminars. This as expected followed a similar format. A couple of main seminars and some more focused side seminars/groups. Everything was professional organised. The only real difference for me that these weren't talks on business economics, new product launches or the 'new' direction of the business. This was way more intimate. The topics (obviously) much more personal.

I attended the opening speech from Mark Flannagan CE of Beating Bowel Cancer. Again the sincerity and obvious drive to make a difference was overwhelming! 

The next seminar was from Dr Mark Saunders on 'Personalized medicine: why do some treatments work and others don't?' 

Not much more to say really as the seminar title covered it well. 

The one thing that soon became apparent was the sheer volume of medication available to 'treat' cancer and the fact that as of yet we could not be 100% as to if the prescribed medication would work for patient 'A' but wouldn't for patient 'B'. It is almost like your consultants need to make a 'best guess' on which (rather expensive) medicine would work. I must admit I was shocked by some of these statistics. 

As the seminar finished and I reflected on what Id heard an overwhelming wave of relief came over me. Relief that I had been so fortunate that my battle with cancer required none of these medications and their inherent side effects. 

Then as I heard people talking and asking questions about their medicines this relief turned to guilt. Guilt that I had been so fortunate and apart from total removal of my large bowel my 'experience' had been fairly simple. I felt a little awkward, strange right?

As I wandered back into the exhibition hall I then began to realize that I was so fortunate with my experience because of early diagnosis. My 'guilt' then turned into a refreshed determination to raise awareness of symptoms and do what little I could to help. 

Next was a seminar was on advances in Bowel surgery. Ill be honest wasn't sure about this one kinda just followed the crowd. However, im glad I did. I learned about something very personal. My scars. 

The talk focused on laproscopic surgery (key hole) I was aware I was fortunate to have my operation performed this was. It resulted in minimal scaring and a much quicker recovery, but, as the talk progressed I realized how lucky. 

My operation was in 2008. During his talk Mr Arulampalam discussed how he was an early adopter of key hole surgery. He then presented some statistics (these may not be 100% as they are from memory) It seemed that back in 2008 only 5% of surgeries were performed laproscopicly. With recent campaigns increasing this percentage in 2013.

Once again I began to realize just how lucky I had been. It was like the planets had aligned and all criteria for this "less intrusive" surgery had been present.  In medical terms my procedure had been in its infancy.

The talk then moved onto advances in key hole surgery including robots, and an interesting video of a remotely performed key hole surgery. Truly groundbreaking!! 

My first patient day and a sharp reminder of the battle that others still have. I often take allot of my story for granted. I say I was lucky, but without these groundbreaking procedures and diagnosis all the luck in the world may not of been enough.

 Don't get me wrong it has been tough. Often more than you would realize ; ) But seeing how my procedure was cutting edge, how early diagnosis allowed for swift actions. I am truely grateful to my surgeon and her team. It was all such a whirlwind I had never considered how things 'could of been' Scary thoughts ill try not to dwell on. ;)

Overall patient day has reinforced my focus on trying to raise symptom awareness early diagnosis saves lives. It saved mine!

Medication...the solution and cause of many a challenge

So, whilst the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. This blog has recieved some serious exposure being shared with my fellow OCR runners to some of the ostomy community. It's been shared on facebook retweeted and Ive even started my very own guest blog (post soon to come)

During this time of excitement it has also been one of the toughest 6 weeks of the last 7 years. As mentioned in a previous post after my recent sigmoscopy revealed an inflamation of UC in my remaining rectal stump I was perscribed a strong dose of steroids. And man were they strong!

This was my first experience of steroids and dont believe everything that you hear. Not all steroids increase your strength and cause you to increase muscle mass. Infact these were quite the opposite. I experienced a range of side effects from weakness to dizziness to a rather nasty few days of facial numbness! (Gotta admit this one did freak me out a little!)

These steroids seriously effected my training. For most of the course I wasn't able to finish my usual circuit. I became exhausted and struggled to make 50% of a regime I was comfortably completing a few days earlier.

This was also partially due to my overall fatigue. I was sleeping well. Not quite insomnia but they definatley effected my sleep. Plus for one week I had the most vivid nightmares! I mean waking up in a cold sweat nightmares!

During this time I was also awaiting for my biopsy results. Good news they came back all clear and Im now finnaly off the medication. Im slowly starting to feel like myself again. Now this is the head scew. Whilst the side effects really did hit me for six, they did there job! They increased my bodies natural defences and the flare up subsided.

Isnt that just the way life is. Every you kust start to get ontop of everything it trys to knock you back down.

I guess the real sign of a warrior, a fighter is the strength to keep picking yourself back up again ; )

btw: think this will be my next tattoo ; )