Thursday 3 July 2014

You cant control what happens, but you can control your response!

Recent events have made me reflect on my own Cancer diagnosis. Whilst most of the last 8 years is a blur with tests and hospital appointments all merging into one. Strangely I do recal very specific things about the day my life changed forever.

I mayve mentioned before but NLP Nero Lingustic Programming suggets that many memories are logged as sounds, or smells. These sounds or smells create negative or positive anchors.  Years later one of these senses will trigger a memory from years ago.

The hospital "smell" is something that anyone who has undergone an operation or even visited someone in hospital will be familiar with. I , however, recall the exact seat in the waiting room. The day we were told I had cancer there was at least an inch of snow on the ground so even that strange silence you get when it snows reminds me of that day. 

I do recall immediately after being told just laughing. A strange nervous laugh expecting that there had been a mistake.

Then the years that follow. The day you are given the news that the Cancer hasnt spread, then when you are told you are "clear" you have earned your 5 year all clear badge. Thats it right? HELL NO!!

I sincerely hope you never have to experience this but a piece of paper and a pat on the back and no longer being an outpatient gives does not convince you all is clear.

In my opinion when we are told we have a life threatening illness you are suddenly told your body (that you have understood and becone very familiar with) for the last 'x' number of years has hidden something from you. Something sinister was lurking without you knowing it was there. You go to bed Sunday feeling good, feeling normal and wake up Monday being told you have Cancer! Can we really trust our bodies again? Again in my opinion, honestly....NO.

But who can? Who knows whats really going on beneath the surface. Whilst I no longer fully trust my body what I do have is a better understanding of it. More awareness more time to listen to it. Our bodies are a machine, with ever part doing a specfic job. Each important in its own way. All we can do is listen to the signs its gives us and make sure we pay attention. Now this may sound negative, far too serious for my blog posts. 

Personnally I have found it all very liberating. Dealing with my own illness was easier than dealing with my mums diagnosis only a few weeks after my operation. 

I realised all I can do is survive, the rest is down to fate and the skill of the medical profession. Why stress over something out of our control? That said I DO NOT underestimate that I was VERY VERY lucky with my diagnosis  and recovery. However, I have tried to hang on to this philosophy after all the years. Often catching myself mid stress and cursing myself for it!

Based on this I do not however subscribe to life choices like Y.O.L.O (you only live once) or "Live today like its your last" These tend to be excuses people use to try and justify to everyone else why they are doing something. Does other peoples opinions matter that much? Can you EGO not take that others will not agree with your choices?

Yes you do only live once and we should make the most of it, but in my experience never at the expense of tommorrow. If you live your life right there should always be one. We should always be planning for today AND tommorrow.

That also doesn't mean you don't take the odd risk every now and again, o something that puts you out of your comfort zone. Do something that gets the adrenaline going ;)

Dont let a life changing event show you the real priorities in life like it did for me and so many others. 

Get ahead of the curve, enjoy what you have with those you love today and tommorrow ;)

 

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