My geekiness is not defined into one genre i'm into almost anything that I find cool :)
I do have some core loves though. Marvel, DC and Star wars. This weekend was a significant date in the Geek Calendar with May 4th and May 5th.....come on you must know what these are by now?
May the 4th be with you......
Return of the 5th........
So this weekend I was presented with a random face book post from a friend who had helped me to celebrate my 10 year all clear with my Samurai Tattoo. She had posted how she wanted to do a May 4th star wars tattoo and posted a few designs. One of them really called to me. A rebellion empire logo split balancing the light and the dark as one.
The subject matter alone should be no surprise why I decided I would get this tattoo on one of the geekiest days of the year.
However.....
Star Wars has more significance in my journey than perhaps people realize.
Over 10 years many of my thoughts and feelings have become unclear. Lost in the fog of time. Certain points, certain days, certain incidents however remain crystal!
A few short months after my operation I was still battling with dealing with my Stoma. Star Wars has one of those points. Having always been a geek a few friends and I attending the Star Wars convention at the Excel centre in London. Anyone that has been to any of these events will know just how busy and how much queuing is involved.
You may think queuing...annoying at most? Perhaps..... but as a new Ostomist I also had to deal with my bag for the first time in a busy event with toilets that just couldn't cope. Leaks and issues were still a regular occurrence and I was still adapting. Whilst the day is lost in the fog my feelings of anxiety are something I may never forget. As well as leakage I was also still worried about the sheer volume of people and someone bumping into my stoma. I took a ruck sack probably full of enough spares and bags for a week rather than a few hours. Something that today based on what I now do seems ridiculous.
The day passed without incident, a few panicked trips to he toilets to 'check my bag' but no significant issues to report.
So my love of star Wars had forced me outside my comfort zone for the first time since my Ostomy. Perhaps a more significant day than I realised?
By today's standards I was over prepared over worried. I am so comfortable with my bag that on occasions my 'spares' are left in the car rarely caring anymore than 1 or 2 spare bags on my person.
So while this tattoo signifies my geekhood like almost all of my tattoos it has a reminder. A piece of ink to symbolize my journey. Looking back at myself then in the pictures from the day I barely recognize myself. A time and an image when I was still trying to balance th light and dark the positive and negatives of my ostomy.
