So those of you that know me know that on social media I
post a few pics. Many of these are
selfies. It’s a bit of a standing joke amongst
many of my friends that if I haven’t posted one in a few days I must be ill.
As per my last blog things have been a bit tough
lately. Its during a similar
conversation that I decided maybe it was time to write this blog. Not justifying anything, as ultimately I do
what I want. I am not dictated by the
expectation of others. Especially on
social media. Its my page. Ill moan rant or post as many selfies as I
like. If they do not like them….delete
me. You have a choice!
Anyway slightly off topic. So why so many selfies?
Many of you I did not have the pleasure of meeting till after
my surgery, after my recovery. For those
that didn’t before 2007 I was approx. 9st.
I always looked ill (I can see that now though couldn’t at the time) and
ultimately I didn’t like the way I looked.
The mid 20’s version of me was not happy with the way he
looked. I was pale, black rings around
my eyes and skinny. I was rarely happy
with my appearance.
Hard to believe with the amount of pics I post now huh?
Well that is exactly my point! Apart from the usual exceptions I believe that
many people post pictures of themselves or take selfies as at one point in
their life they have not been happy with how they look. Whether that’s due to illness, weight
loss/gain or another factor.
The reason I post selfies is I remember these times…vividly. And when I see a picture of myself from a
race or feel particularly good in what I am wearing I post a selfie. A quiet nod to myself that no matter how I
felt in the past that is the past.
During the first few years after my operation this was still
the case. I look back at pictures from
2008 and beyond and all I see if my bag.
I’m not going to lie I often look at recent pictures and instinctively I
look to see if my bag is visible.
Even now when I see some pictures if I am in a half empty
mood I still don’t like the way I look.
My missing tooth or receding hair line often the cause.
Please do not misread read this blog as an excuse or a cry
for pity. It isn’t. What is it then? Just an insight into my life, into me. After all this is why I started writing these
blogs in the first place.
So next time you see someone post a selfie perhaps think
that maybe this isn’t there ego that prompted this post but perhaps just a
flashback to times when they weren’t so happy about the way they looked.
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