Cancerversiary

The start of every new year is always an interesting one. 3 dates, 3 very important numbers will always be with me.
8, 16 & 31

8th Feb = Cancer diagnosis

16th March = operation removing tumor, large intestine and leaving me with a stoma.

31st March = Confirmation that Cancer had not spread, that no further treatment was required at this stage. No chemo no radiotherapy.:) :) :) #LUCKY

3 significant fixed points in time. At the time I knew these events would shape my life. Little did I know how much!

This is probably the first year where I actually forgot the most relevant date.  On 8th My wife gave me a kiss on the cheek and asked me was I 'ok'? in a way that I had to question what she meant?  

It wasn't until she reminded me of the date that I realized. It has been a busy start to 2015! Commissioned blogs, upping fitness activities at the gym and as part of the Nuclear Races Team.  Work is always busy at the start of every year as sales budgets are finalised for the the coming year.  

Whilst all of this distraction is buzzing around in the background I am always concious that my family are not left out. Spending time with Carley & Jack is THE most important part of my life.  Whilst its nice to have my own interests its a battle to balance everything.

Actually...people are right when I list down everything I am really busy.  How do I find the time to fit everything in? I guess the key is: 

IF SOMETHING IS WORTH DOING ITS WORTH MAKING THE TIME

Anyway back to my original point.  My 'Cancerversary'.  I can honestly say this is probably the first year in the last 8 years where I have been 'comfortable' in my own skin. That is not to say vanity still doesn't play its part.

After all the hard work and perseverance my life almost feels in balance?  My family, my fitness and my work.  Each existing in harmony.  Trust me I'll probably regret saying this as everything comes crashing down around me, but at the moment, it is honestly what I feel.  I am in control, 

I am in the driving seat!

Perhaps that is it?  Perhaps for the first time in 8 years I feel like I am in control of my own life?  Its not about Cancer, its not about 'dealing' with my Ostomy/stoma. Over the last 8 years I have simply been a passenger along for the journey.

Over the last 12 months I have turned having an Ostomy and Beating Cancer into a positive.  Using it to drive myself forward.  It has felt less of a weight to carry and more like the fuel that drives me!

(Sorry a lot of analogies I know but REALLY hard to put these feeling into words!)

As strange as it may seem I do not always look back negatively about what happened to me 8 years ago.  I have a healthy respect for Cancer, for being an Ostomist and how delicate our existance can be.  

BUT......

That cross road in my life is why I am here now.  Why I am raising awareness for Bowel Cancer and Ostomists.  Why my family are so important to me.  Why I am part of the Nuclear Races team and training hard. 

As I am sure I have mentioned before I do not subscribe to the Y.O.L.O. (you only live once) or live like its your last day.  However, I cannot ignore how lucky I am to be here, right here, right now!

Respect the past, enjoy today.....but most importantly look forward to tomorrow :)