Over the last year, year and a half I have started so many blogs in my head. So many half blogs. Yet I have never take virtual pen to paper and written a blog in what feels forever.
I can come up with excuses...to busy no time.
Reality, honest as I always said I would be in these blogs. My head wasn't in the right headspace. I've never wanted my blogs to be self pity or depressing. I'd always aimed for them to finish on a positive..something to make you think.
Truth is being positive has been a real struggle. It's no secret I've had some mental health challenges along with the usual health challenges..but this has been different.
Just not feeling...well...not feeling me..not feeling myself How stupid does that sound. Who else could I feel? Who else could I be? It's also really hard to quantify.
So today I forced myself to write this blog.
I think alot has changed. My life a few years ago was busy...very busy....the probably too busy. My life seemed to revolve around my stoma. Charity stuff, advocate talks. On reflection it began to feel like ibwas just on a ride. I'd started to feel I'd lost control of my own life. It had become too complex? To be honest I'm finding it hard to explain.
Well here I am. Trying to return to something I enjoyed and that started as therapy. Perhaps its the piece that is missing? Perhaps I've run out of excuses?
Good news is...still haven't run out of things to talk about!
